A pinched nerve. One spot on the back of my shoulder that is painful, which has the ability to take hold and render me helpless. It slowly working its way out, but not before I felt at its mercy.
Being active, independent and stubborn, it’s hard to slow down. So of course at first I didn’t, which only exacerbated the situation. It’s only when I embraced the situation and listened to my body—the pain was like a high pitched scream—to slow down, did I, and it began to heal.
When things are off like this you realize how one small spot on your body not functioning efficiently can impact all of you and end up dictating your decisions and affecting your choices. How, unless you are willing to be flexible and adapt, you can lose all control.
So much of life we take for granted, including how our bodies function. We spend time abusing, judging and overindulging our bodies. We lose sight of what a truly amazing “machine” it is complete with inner wisdom and amazing beauty. It’s only when things aren’t working properly that we may slow down and start to nurture and appreciate.
This may be a reflection of how we live, in high gear with blinders on and moving quickly from one thing to the next—not allowing time to appreciate. It’s only when you can’t that you appreciate what you can, when you lose something, you appreciate its worth, and when something is taken away, you want it back. And sometimes you can have it back and sometimes you can’t.
So it really is about appreciating things every minute of every day, because things can change. Sometimes quickly and unexpectedly. So its not taking things for granted. Even the mundane, routine everyday “chores” can be appreciated because everything has a purpose. And part of it is adapting to your situation and the way you view things.
So in between being angry at my body for limiting my activity, I eventually chose to look at it differently and considered it increased “me” time and didn’t feel guilty about it. I just chose to acknowledge that it was my body’s way of telling me I needed to slow down. So I increased my “me” time, and hence this blog!
Slowing down really allowed me to enjoy things again and be more present in a moment to moment way. It made me reevaluate my choices, increase respect for my body and shift my attitude.
So even though I still have a pinched nerve and cannot get moving the way I would like, my heart feels lighter. I think that is all part of the healing.